Random Morbid Thoughts

On Wednesday the pilot light to my water heater went out. It's the first time it happened since I owned my house so, before re-lighting it, I made sure to read the instructions on how to light it. Then I re-read them. Then I read them again. Then I read them one more time... you see, not only do I not want my house to blow up, I also do not want me to be in my house if it were to blow up.

As I was carefully, step by step, going through what would probably be considered an incredibly simple process (granted, with DIRE consequences if I were to screw it up) I had a rather morbid thought; "If I die... it will take days, maybe weeks, for my friends to find out."

First thing that would happen, if I were to incinerate myself in a freak water-heater accident, would be for emergency services to arrive and take my charred corpse to the coroners office. My next of kin; my mother and father, and my emergency contact person; Mick, would be contacted via phone. From there, things get tricky...

Mick would probably tell Wally, Don, Josh, and Rachel. Wally would probably tell my other friend Don and that's where things would stop. Mom and dad would tell my extended family... but I have a good number of friends who wouldn't find out for a long time... some of them might never find out.

People would see that I hadn't signed into Myspace for a long time but I'm a busy guy so that's not unthinkable. Heather, (my girlfriend), my friend Diane, and my other friend Heather might not know for weeks that I had been vaporized. They would probably get pissed at me for not talking to them. They would probably call, leave e-mails, and texts with more and more agitated tone. I would hope that they would take it upon themselves to contact my other friends and ask what had happened to me... but they might not do that for a couple weeks.

I think I need to make a hierarchy of who calls who in the event of my death.

After writing this, I had ANOTHER morbid thought... I can go for a couple weeks without writing a blog... what if I die before I write my next blog? How creepy would that be for a blog outlining the events of my demise to be the last blog I ever write?

I guess I'll be writing again soon.

Tagged with: death, gas, house, morbid, water heater