Too Much Bad Advice - Round 2

Once again MSN maintains its track record of giving terrible advice on dating and relationships. While I was sitting at work waiting for content from my boss I decided to read one of MSN's scrolling articles... of course the title caught my eye; 'How to ask women out'.

1. Be straightforward:

This is one tidbit of good advice that MSN did give. Just ask her out, preferably with style. There is eloquence in the indirect however; if you and she both happen to be fans of The Steelers, say something like; "I watch the game every Sunday at The Hop House, care to join me?"

2. Don't ask her out via email:

MSN says that you should ask a woman out in "real time" because she's more likely to feel bad for you in the moment and say yes. That is fucking terrible advice. The last thing I want is to guilt a chick into going out with me. I want her to WANT to go out with me!

It says that e-mail provides an easy out for a chick. It does? GOOD! I WANT the chicks I ask out to have easy outs. Most chicks don't have the guts to just say; "I'm not interested in that sort of thing with you." They need an excuse if they don't want to go out with you to cancel the deal. If a chick has an easy out and doesn't take it, that means she's interested.

E-mail is fast and easy. I spend more time on e-mail than I do the phone (and I spend a lot of time on the phone). Feel free to shoot an e-mail off to that hot chick you met a while ago asking her if she'd like to go out some time. If she doesn't want to than she'll do this squirmy little dance where "she didn't get your e-mail" or "my reply didn't send" or some bullshit. Chicks are just as interested in guys as we are in them. If she's interested she'll make damn sure she gets back to you.

3. Look her in the eyes and smile when you ask:

This also happens to be good advice. If you are asking her out in person, eye contact and confidence is key.

4. Don't pass the buck to her:

This is bad advice as well. The MSN article basically says you should get her number or e-mail and contact her if you want to ask her out, not give her your number of e-mail and expect her to call you. Of course you want to get her number but if you don't, give her yours and your e-mail.

It's fine to give your number or e-mail out to a chick and put the responsibility on her to contact you. As before, if she's interested, she'll do something about it. If she isn't, she won't. While MSN does make the point that this technique prevents you from being contacted by shy chicks, that's why you give e-mail out WITH your phone number. Shy chicks are more likely to contact you via e-mail than via telephone.

5. Practice speaking with a cool tone:

ok, not bad advice. If you don't have complete mastery of how you come across when you communicate verbally you need to work on that. I would say that that's good advice for every facet of life. Practice working toward what you want, jobs, women, loans, etc. through speech.

6. Don't be vague:

MSN says you should make your intentions clear. This is good advice but it really depends on the situation. If you tell a chick; "we should have drinks after work on Thursday", than you risk her being busy on that day. If you tell a chick; "I'd love to hang out some time, when's good for you?" than, if she's interested, she'll tell you what day she's available. If she's not she'll be squirmy and prevent you from nailing her down (not the nailing you're thinking).

7. Surprise her with originality:

Again, not bad advice, but I'm a huge fan of giving the girl something to devote her attention to other than you... not because you don't want her to see your faults, but because sometimes it's tricky moving the conversation along... especially if either you or she have poor speaking skills. I always recommend movies, but meet a half hour or so before the movie starts so you can chat. I don't recommend restaurants for first dates because if the conversation isn't moving it is REALLY fucking awkward. I like to save the originality for the second or third date. If she likes you based on conversation, she'll enjoy the original date that much more because she's sharing it with someone she likes.

8. Make it clear that it's a date: I think this is also bad advice. You don't have to make it clear that it's a date. If you're just hanging out and you like her, give her a kiss goodnight... she'll be surprised and you'll be stuck in her head all day the next day. If you're hanging out and you don't like her in a romantic way, that's fine, you're hanging out as friends. My philosophy is that you should make friends and date them... not the other way around.

Tagged with: bad advice, dating, MSN, women