The Colors of Dating - round 2

If you read my previous blog on the colors of dating you read my perspective on casual sex in dating. Now I’ll write about every females favorite subject; establishing a long term relationship through dating.

I often get the feeling when I’m out with a chick that I’m being interviewed for “husband material”. The fact of the matter is, that’s how a woman’s mind works and there’s nothing wrong with that. Shortly after birth something snaps in a woman’s brain; “I gotta find a husband and pop out babies!” That’s normal. If women didn’t have an instinctual drive to establish a family they wouldn’t play with dolls.

FYI women, I’ve aced every job interview I’ve ever been on. I guarantee I can make myself look like husband material, get into your pants, and be out the door before you even realize what happened. I don’t do that because I’m a good guy but I’m outnumbered by the bad ones.

Shortly after birth something happens in a mans brain that says; “I wanna have all the fun I can all the time!” Which is why we play with far cooler toys such as GI Joe and Transformers. Later, after we hit puberty we want to trade in our GI Joe’s and Transformers for boobs and vagina’s. That is also natural. We of course think about the same stuff women think about; being a parent, getting married, etc… we just don’t think about it very often and then immediately get distracted because of our short attention spans.

FYI guys, women know you like sex. They sometimes use sex as a tool to trap you into a relationship. They don’t all do this but some do. Oh! And there’s STD’s and shit. Watch where you put your dick… good advice for all seasons.

This is where people have the most trouble in the dating world.

Women!: Every guy you date is not; “the one” Back off! There are a million guys out there and finding the RIGHT one is step 1 in your plan for world domination through poping out babies. You can’t rush through step 1. You gotta do it right or you’ll end up a 45-year-old divorced mom. Be patient.

Men!: Every chick you date is not a walking vagina. Chicks have wants and needs and they want an emotional connection. This may come as a shock, but establishing an emotional connection can be more rewarding than sex. Take a step back and think about the potential of every chick you date or you’ll end up a 50-year-old chasing after 20-year-olds which is sad and pathetic.

Ok, so... you want to find a long term relationship. You read some books. You sign up for some online dating sites and start browsing. You hit the bar scene and club scene like a crazy person. You listen to the advice of all your friends and sooner or later it’s bound to happen right?

Yes and no. It’ll happen if you go about it in the right way. What I’m gonna say next will most likely be ignored by most women and discarded as completely ridiculous.

DATE AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN! DATE SOMEONE YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NEVER BE INTERESTED IN. DATE. DATE. DATE.

Date around. If you have a date with one chick (girls, you date men, so when I say “chick”, just replace it with the word “guy”) on Friday, have a date with another on Saturday. If you can manage to date 2, 3, or 4 people at once, GO FOR IT! Date the chick at the local abr whose been checking you out. Date the chick you ran into at a club. Date the chick who laughed at your picture on myspace. Date the chick who you pass on your way to work. DATE THEM ALL! Expand your world. You never know what you will find you like in a person. If you have a bad time with them, so what? Who the fuck cares? Now you have a story to tell your friends. Dating is supposed to be FUN. It’s not supposed to be pressure and, more importantly, your GOAL is to make friends.

BUT WAIT! I though the goal was to find a long term relationship. Yeah, I know… that’s what I said… I’m getting to that. Be patient. You’re such a woman!

Now, what I’m gonna say next will most likely be ignored by most men.

Establish FRIENDSHIPS with the people of the opposite sex in your life. Have fun. See movies. Get dinner. Get to know each other. Friends CAN fuck, but usually do not. If you discover someone isn’t compatible with you at the level of a friend, break it off in whatever method you feel works best (This usually involves ignoring the person which is cowardly but I will admit, I’ve done it). Don’t fuck them and then say; “oh yeah… this isn’t gonna work out.” That’s bastardly. Find out who in your world genuinely connects with you. Give it time be patient… but don’t hold still. Date the whole world if you can!

Now you’re friends. Great. We’ve all heard of “the friend zone” where nothing can happen after two people become “friends”. Just so everyone is fully aware, that is complete bullshit. There is no difference between friends and lovers other than physical attraction. That’s a bold statement but I hold it to be true… but than my definition of a friend is different than most. If a woman puts you in her “friend zone”, she’s single but won’t date you than she’s using you to support her self esteem. She is not a true friend. If a man puts you in his “friend zone”, he’s single, but won’t date you, than he’s using you as a fallback plan when he’s out of options. He is not a true friend.

In establishing a friendship you should always try to become TRUE friends. There is a difference between a TRUE friend and just a friend. You can’t have 600 true friends… you only have room in your heart for a few. That’s reality. You can’t love everyone you meet. You can be FRIENDLY, but you can’t be genuine friends. Your heart isn’t big enough… sorry. Watch out for people with 100,000 friends. These people may not have an understanding of what true friendship is and do not have the capacity to establish a relationship.

Once you’ve established TRUE friendship and there’s physical attraction THAN you can be lovers. That’s how it’s done. Follow my instructions and find love bitches!

Tagged with: Dating, marriage, men, relationship, sex, single, woman