Last night I hit The Rhythm House in Bridgeville to
participate in a poker tournament. The tournament consist of between 60 and 100
people and you have to draw random seats so you never quite know whose gonna
end up sitting next to you. It’s usually a fun time with colorful characters
from Mr. wanna-be High Roller (who actually sucks) to cocky ass-hole kid (who
is pretty good and kinda deserves his attitude), to old ass dudes who can
barely see the cards but are cool and jolly people all the same.
I happen to sit between two chicks… not the young hot kind,
but the older, not so attractive kind.
What’s worse, they were fucking annoying as
hell. The kinda chicks you just wanna give a swift smack to the head when they
least expect it.
The chick to my right wasn’t as bad as the chick to my left.
She spent most of the time away from the table. She’d constantly get up and
move around the bar, it’d come to her and she’d scamper back from half way
across the bar and look at her cards which would hold everything up. She’d look
at her cards and fold, check, or raise and then scamper away.
That behavior doesn’t seem tremendously annoying but it is
after a while. The annoying factor comes in primarily because she’s holding
everyone up half the time. Also, because she’s a little distracting.
The chick to my left was the really annoying one. I think
she had ADD. If she was a blind you would always have to tell her she was a
blind. Without fail she would always ask; “What are the blinds at?” You’d tell
her and, almost without fail she’d throw in the big blind if she as the small
blind or small blind if she was the big blind and you’d have to remind her
which bind she was.
In addition to that she would start a conversation with
someone nearby and, when it would come to her, you’d have to tell her it was
her turn. She’d look at her cards and say; “check” and go back to her
conversation. You would THEN have to tell her that someone before her raised
and if she wants to stay in she has to call. She would turn from her
conversation and ask; “Call? How much to call?” It was merciful if it was a
small amount because she’d just call or fold. Heaven forbid someone was all in
and she had a decent hand because she would spend 5 minutes agonizing over what
to do.
Then, when she was the dealer she would never pay attention
to what she was doing. She’d have a stack of cards in front of her and it was
time for the flop and she’d stare around the table looking for the dealer. Then
she’d say, after someone reminded her that she was the dealer; “oh! I forgot.
I’m sorry.” Then, she would repeat that pattern of behavior through the turn
and the river. It was ridiculously annoying.
THEN, when the guy to her left was the dealer and would
offer a cut she would almost always pick up the cards and start shuffling
because, even though she had JUST DEALT she figured she’d just deal again.
Of course when she WAS paying attention to the game she was
blind as a bat and could barely see the cards on the table. It’d come to her and
she’d look to her hand, the cards on the table, and back again… she’d repeat
that for about 3 minutes and ask; “What are the cards?”
God forbid if she won a pot because she’d spend all day
counting and arranging her chips. When it came to her you had to tell her to
act. She’d say “check” and then, of course, if someone had raised, you’d have
to tell her she has to call… and THEN she’d stop counting, look at her cards,
and act.
About two hours into the game I went all in with a crap hand
knowing I was beat. I couldn’t stand it anymore. If you go to a POKER
TOURNAMENT to PLAY POKER fucking PAY ATTENTION AND PLAY! I wanted to change
tables so badly but couldn’t. I just had to leave.
Tagged with:
anoying, Edward Norton, Frustrating, Gerard Butler, Poker, retarded, Ryrgm House
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